What does SUBMISSION mean in a healthy relationship? Controversial isn’t is? I am going to clear all your confusion about this subject because I have seen many people (Men and Women) taking it in a wrong way. But Manisha, How do we decide the right way? And why even submission is required? Is submission done only by women? Hold on to your questions, we will get into all that.
MISUNDERSGTANDING ABOUT SUBMISSION: Women think submitting to a man is like his slave. Him ordering her around and making her do whatever he wants. WRONG.
And men think, if a woman submits to them, she will do ANYTHING without any boundaries and questions, especially sexually. WRONG.
WHAT IS SUBMISSION BY A WOMAN?: When a woman submits to a man, she follows his lead, she trusts his decisions, she honours his needs and desires. Now you tell me, how much trust a woman needs to trust a man like this? A lot right? Hence, submission starts from men earning that kind of trust. You can trust someone on a basic level but the kind of trust submission needs, that has to be earned by a man. Let me put it in simple words.
SUBMISSION IS A CHOICE OF A WOMAN. WHEN THAT SUBMISSION IS PRESSURED, MANIPULATED, AFFECTED BY SOCIETY, NOT EARNED BY A MAN AND FORCED ON A WOMAN, THAT IS NOT SUBMISSION. That is a woman living in fear. If done right, submission makes a woman fearless, it doesn’t create fear.
ROLE OF FORGIVENESS IN SUBMISSION: When you follow a man’s lead he is going to disappoint you once in a while. Because he is human and humans make mistake, his decisions might not be on point sometimes. And as a woman, if you are unhealed from your past when men have failed you, you might be lacking one of the feminine qualities, “Forgiveness.” Men tend to stay away from women who are overly unforgiving and critical and women tend to stay away from or nag and complain to men who fail in leading most of the time.
Am I saying that you can never question his lead? No. And a healthy masculine man never shield his incapability or his failure behind anger or excuses, he feels safe to be vulnerable in front of a feminine woman because she has the capability to understand and forgive. He learns from his failures and quickly stands back up again, he hates to disappoint her again and doesn’t take his forgiveness for granted.
WHAT IS SUBMISSION BY A MAN: When he submits to his duty towards his woman and family, he needs to be the leader who is in service of others. He needs to sacrifice for the woman and family. He needs to earn the trust of a woman so she submits to him. Hence, submission happens first by a man to a woman to make her feel safe, and then she submits to his decisions, his desires, she follows his lead with trust.
It’s a huge responsibility to lead. Hence, a man has to decide who he wants to lead. If a man doesn’t really feel the need of a woman besides sex in his life and he still gets one (pressured marriages), in most cases, he is going to feel burdened and not responsible for her. He might like her, love her, marry her, have children with her but not necessarily value her. It all starts with men.
HOW SUBMISSION CONCEPT SIMPLIFIED MY DATING LIFE: After understanding what exactly submission means, I realised that’s exactly what I needed and that’s exactly where I was lacking. Because of my traumatic childhood, I was keep attracting feminine men and was trying to submit to them, where my inner divine feminine wasn’t agreeing to my decision. I was trying to submit to the men who was not worth submitting to. Or you can say, I was able to trust my masculine energy more than I trusted his’.
Hence, I healed, dropped down my masculine shield and I started asking myself only two questions while dating a man,
Q1. Can I trust him?
Q2. Can I submit to him? That’s it, and it changed my life.
It eliminated the wrong ones from my life very quickly. Dating life became simpler but tougher as well. Because when you know what you want, You stay single for long time as you are incapable of accepting the wrong ones the way you did before.
Hence, as a woman, submission actually gives you power, it doesn’t really take the power away from you. It helps you lead the protected and stress free life. What women need to build is, “The ability to choose” the right leader for herself.
For a man, a woman’s submission is a responsibility, so make sure you do it for the one you actually want to do it for.
Read my previous articles related to feminine and masculine energies and how to balance it within you and in a relationship as well. Links of those articles are mentioned below. Subscribe to my blogs for more articles like this.
Read this for thriving relationships
Art of receiving from a man
Let men pay the bill
Femininity works in your favour
Balancing Feminine and masculine energies