The title of this article is a little intimidating to me as well. I have been called impatient by some people and others think I have an immense amount of patience. Why is that? Why don’t those people see what other people see? Or maybe I am changing according to the situation and not realizing it? Is it even possible to be patient all the time? I had these questions in my mind for so long until I found the concept of feminine and masculine energy.
Yes! That’s correct. Feminine and masculine energies have different kinds of patience. If you have been following my blogs you will know that we may have more than two genders but only two energies rule all, feminine and masculine. And our patience level changes depending on the energy we are operating from. It is so simple to understand but I am surprised people don’t really know about it much. Hence, let me elaborate on it for you.
Feminine energy is “Being” energy and Masculine energy is “Doing” energy. That means feminine energy goes with the flow, her existence itself is valuable, lives in the moment, and is playful, and forgiving. And the masculine is result orientated, getting the job done, structured, and working for the outcome.
When we are working in an office or have a business etc, we are operating from a result-oriented mindset. This is what it takes to get the job done. No one cares about your feelings and has time to be in the moment and have fun if the job is not getting done and targets aren’t met at the end of the day. The more responsibility you handle, the more serious your job gets, the more money is involved, THE MORE YOUR RESULT ORIENTED MINDSET GROWS. You are giving instructions to your team to meet the targets, competing with colleagues to look better in front of the boss so you get the promotion, and competing with your business competitors to grow the business. These are all masculine energy mindsets.
When you don’t get the desired results, either you fire the relevant person or maybe yell at them because you can’t fire them or maybe move them to a different team. Whatever it is, there will be a consequence. The masculine energy is very patient while waiting for the result and extremely proud and happy when it gets the desired result. If it feels that someone is not right for the job or making the job too hard or impossible, then it loses patience, gets irritated, and shows the consequences. And of course, this happens when the masculine cares about the job and/or result.
Now! the problem arises when you operate with the same energy in relationships. You still don’t know where I am going with this? No worries, I will grab your hand till the end.
When your husband put the wet towel on the bed after you told him 3 times not to, and you still didn’t see the results the masculine in you will get irritated, and upset because it wants results soon. Hey! don’t get me wrong here, I am not saying that leaving the towel on the bed is the right thing to do, there is no right or wrong here, it’s all about how you react to the situations.
A woman operating more from her feminine will react very differently to such situations. There are multiple ways to get your needs met that don’t need to involve screaming, yelling, or any neediness. For example, look at the video below.
This is such a playful way to request your partner to be more chivalrous with you. If a woman is operating from her wounded feminine, she might get irritated and upset when she is not treated nicely, this puts her into the “needy” category. However, when a woman is tired, exhausted, going through some physical pain or when her wave is crashing near her menstrual cycle and she is unable to keep her playfulness alive like this, then it is her man’s responsibility to provide her a safe space to be herself without him getting irritated and expecting that she should always be happy. That’s why I always say, be with a man who has the bandwidth to provide you with a safe space emotionally, physically, and financially that feels enough to you. It helps keep your femininity and playfulness alive. The safer you feel, the more relaxed and creative you become in order to request what you want, and the more patience you seem to have. It becomes easy for a woman to find new ways to tell others what she wants and those ways could be fun, playful, strict, funny, or anything positive. It shouldn’t be sarcastic, taunting, screaming, shouting, or anything negative. Basically, she becomes more patient and open when she feels safe.
It is our responsibility to bring peace to ourselves first. For that, you need to have the courage to eliminate everyone who doesn’t add up to it or have boundaries around them if you can’t eliminate them.
Now I have another example for you below for ultimate patience.
The masculine will lose his mind with this kid above. Because the kid is taking too much time to reach the final result. To earn money and earn your value in the world you need masculine energy but to be in ANY relationship you need feminine energy, regardless of your gender. A man who is not secure and not in touch with his healthy feminine will be afraid of kids or will be triggered and irritated by them. That’s why they say, A man is respected when he has “Self Control.” And a woman is respected when she has the gift of “Silence” because it takes a great amount of patience to be quiet and not take any action even after you know the right things to say or do and wait for the right time to take it over. Just like this mother did with her child. She patiently waited for her to finish the job, she didn’t correct the child, didn’t try to control the child thinking she is unable to do it, didn’t yell at her for doing it wrong, she trusted the child to do the right thing knowing that the child has no idea how to break the egg. She just nurtured the child to do the right thing. Women are biologically wired to have patience with these kinds of stuff. And believe me, it is a very hard job. Keeping your patience without taking control is not an easy thing but feminine energy is naturally wired for it.
Now here is the catch. When we take the result-oriented mindset into the relationships and start expecting quick results, it creates a problem. If you still don’t know how? Then here I go.
Getting the wet towel picked up from the bed by your husband is not an office task that you need to finish that gives you a promotion from your boss. It’s his habit as a human being. Disgusting habit, but a habit. Now think about your annoying habits and how hard it is for you to change them.
When two people are together, they influence each other to get better and don’t force each other to get better, because forcing never works. Women are biologically programmed to be in their feminine. Hence, patience is something we are wired with. The more you tap into your femininity as a woman, the more patience you seem to have. Feminine energy has the patience to just be and enjoy every moment. Masculine patience is short-lived and only there till you are getting the desired results.
Personal story, because I was driven by my masculine energy more than my feminine all my life, I have been called impatient in my relationships and amazingly patient at my workplace. As a professional photographer, I will barely lose patience even if the model is giving me trash poses 50 times, I will keep guiding her. I have observed that I start to lose patience when half of my day is over, the studio is booked for only 8 hours and I haven’t finished shooting even half of the clothing that I have been given by clients. I literally had to send one model home because she was wasting a lot of time on set. She wasn’t professional and I had to guide her way too much. I still operate the same way at my workplace, but I changed the approach in my personal life a lot. I realized I got this masculine approach from my mother. She used to assign a task to me and if I don’t do it in literally 5 seconds, she will get up and do it herself and then sulk about it. When I grew up I realized, it’s a very needy approach. It is okay to politely repeat your request and I have noticed, most of the time my requests get met.
It is okay to lose patience sometimes because no one can be perfect and that’s where the beauty is. However, knowing the difference between these two patience might help you not lose it in your personal and professional life most of the time. So next time when you find that wet towel on the bed scare him saying that you will wear it to his office party. You both will have a laugh and he might remember this the next time.
Share your experiences in the comments with me, when and why you lost the patience, it will be interesting to hear from you.