How to be more feminine

If you have opened this blog that means I am already kind of preaching to the quire but now you took one more step towards your feminine journey. As you already know most women are feminine, we are just trained to worship masculine energy more, since our childhood.

You will ask me, Manisha, why it is important to embrace femininity, what’s wrong if we are more masculine? Well, it’s important for women to have a powerful feminine side more than a masculine side because women operating from their masculinity tend to face physical, mental, and behavioral issues. Which looks like an irregular menstrual cycle, irritability, stress, chances of miscarriage due to that stress, frustration, snappy, feeling attacked, insecure, etc.
I am not saying masculinity is all bad for women and it shouldn’t exist in us at all. We become complete within ourselves when we have a little bit of masculinity intact, and it is very important to be intact in a woman because if not, you will be easily manipulated, taken for granted and taken advantage of.
Femininity is “being” energy. That means you don’t have to do or prove anything to be valuable. Women are born with a value and their existence itself can bring peace to the world, only if they are treated right.
Because women weren’t treated right for a really long time in little or big ways, the generational trauma has caused women today to jump into their masculinity and achieve something to be valuable or prove their worth.
Now don’t get me wrong here. It is amazing if you are a working woman and earn your own living and have certain lifestyle standards. Every woman has to have their own earning source and should be financially independent, it’s a life skill, not a gender role. However, Your earnings and level of responsibility keep changing/increasing according to your experience, the position you are working at, and the field you are working in. Hence, you will need your masculine side here to get the job done. The more responsible your job is, the higher your stress levels will be which will push you towards your masculine and, if you are working to build an empire, to prove your worth and value, then you are into your masculine big time and this will bring you a different type of stress, exhaustion, and irritability which will make you disconnect with your femininity. You might be happy as a boss but can be deeply unsatisfied as a woman. To find the balance, keep reading.

What does a wounded feminine look like?: Controlling, low self-esteem, people pleaser, insecure attachment style, trust issues, too expressive or too closed off, needy, rigid-minded, egoistic, too hard on herself, argumentative, doesn’t have her priorities/non-negotiables set, detached from her body and feelings, too much into her head, trying to prove her worth, dwells too much into past or future, lack of boundaries, etc. These are a few of many characteristics of a wounded feminine and today many women will find themselves relating to many of these characteristics. However, if you have found this blog, this is a sign that being into your masculine for too long has exhausted you.
Below are the tips to follow to get into your divine feminine, soft but powerful energy.

1. Lose Control: So what does losing control looks like? Let someone else play their songs, let someone else win the argument, let someone else be right, let your flatmate put the bowl in some wrong place, it’s okay if he brings you ice cream that you don’t like, guide him if he touches you incorrectly in bed rather than giving any extreme reactions (Unless he is hurtful or disrespectful purposely), treat your playlist as a radio sometimes and enjoy whatever comes next, let your boss go with the other colleague’s idea even though your’s was better, let them misunderstand you when you tried your best, stop defending yourself every time because 90% of the time it’s unnecessary. Practice not taking control in small and big ways in your daily life. Life becomes easier when we don’t have to take the lead on everything. Decide your non-negotiables and have strict and healthy boundaries around those.
   
2. Receive: How will you give someone the 10 bucks if you don’t have it with you? This applies to every human being. Now replace these 10 bucks with love and emotions and every other thing that you need in any relationship. Women have to receive to give. Feminine energy is receiving energy, she receives and then multiplies. Women who have been giving more than receiving get exhausted over time. If you are young and new to this giving dynamic, you might defend it, you might say what’s wrong in proposing to a guy, what’s wrong in planning the date multiple times even if he isn’t, what’s wrong in going 50-50, what’s wrong in driving to his place over and over again when he didn’t make any efforts, what’s wrong in this and what’s wrong in that. But believe me, you will get the answers over time and you might get it the hard way. Girls in their early ages exhaust themselves in relationships by playing the role of a giver and by the time they become a woman and realize their worth, they have already built too much resentment, especially towards the opposite sex. They have got nothing to give and they are ready to leave any relationship if the man is not a giver or you can say he is a man-child. It takes a huge amount of patience to learn to receive and take a back seat in a relationship. Learn to receive in multiple ways, and the biggest way to receive is to ask for what you need and stop expecting from people who aren’t ready to give. It is your responsibility to get your needs met. Learning to receive is the most compassionate thing you can do for yourself.
   
3. Make your life softer and prettier: I am talking physically and mentally as well. Physically you need to pamper yourself with the things that make you feel relaxed and pretty, like body massage, getting the nails done, getting the blow dry done for no reason, buying yourself some flowers, scented candles, ordering food sometimes rather than cooking or cooking for fun and not as a responsibility, make your body language slow and soft, etc. In the same way, forgive yourself if you have done any mistake, don’t beat yourself so much for the things you have or have not done/said or the decisions you have or have not taken, be softer with yourself, and treat yourself like you treat your best girlfriends. This practice increases your self-respect and standards, so you will get to know when someone is not meeting them. Make your outer appearance and inner self peaceful and beautiful, so that when you see yourself in the mirror you like yourself inside and out. I know it is very hard to relax this way especially when you have been on your toes for so long. However, you need to practice this through actions. For example, when you find yourself attracted to that hair bow, buy it. And if you are feeling guilty for expressing yourself next time, remind yourself that you have all the right to feel the way you felt and express it in the right manner. I would never advocate for screaming, shouting, and yelling.
   Just a tip, we generally raise our voices because we feel unheard and misunderstood, and if you find yourself in this situation a lot then you might need to do the healing of your inner child, it might be coming from your childhood where you felt this way a lot, which your conscious mind doesn’t remember but it’s driving your behavior through your subconscious. Whatever it takes to get you to your softer and prettier side bestie, do it.
   
4. Surround yourself with well-mannered masculine men: Feminine women automatically attract masculine men. However, if you are on your journey to embrace femininity then you need to consciously spot those men and surround yourself with them until you attract them automatically. It doesn’t matter what is your relationship with them a well-mannered masculine man will not think twice before holding the door open for you. A female’s life becomes easy in little and big ways when such men are around. It’s not about your capability anymore with them, you just feel so pampered when they are with you, when you have someone more masculine than you, then you automatically drop the guns in front of them and feel feminine. Also, when you become more and more feminine, you are unknowingly encouraging the masculine to pick up that gun (take his role). Nothing can push you towards your feminine side more than a masculine man.
   Your’s and his thought process might clash in the beginning and might feel competitive as well, but you need to consciously remind yourself that it is not a competition of who is better or wiser unless you are work colleagues, then it might get a little competitive.

These are the things that have helped me so far, if you have any more tricks, drop them in the comments below.