How women’s low self worth is affecting the society. IT IS A PLAY GROUND FOR ALL THE PSYCOPATHS, SOCIOPATHS, NARCISSISTS, MANIPULATERS, FOR ALL UNHEALTHY MEN. YOU ARE THE EASY TARGET.
YOU ARE GOING TO PISS OF A LOT OF PEOPLE, WHEN YOU RAISE YOUR STANDARDS AND DRAW A BOUNDARY. LET THEM GET PISSED OFF. YOUR FEMININITY, YOUR INTUITION IS YOUR POWER THAT PROTECTS YOU FROM THOSE WHO AREN’T RIGHT FOR YOU.
MORE THAN THAT, YOUR INTIUITION IS TO GUIDE YOU TO TAKE EVERY STEP TOWARDS YOUR DESIRED LIFE. PEOPLE HAVE ASKED YOU TO SHUT DOWN YOUR INTUITION AND APPLY LOGIC EVERY TIME, GUESS WHAT THEY TOOK YOUR POWER AWAY FROM YOU. Let’s talk about how low self worth looks like in the society and what as women we can do or what powers do we hold to change it.
WHAT IS HIGH SELF WORTH AND WHERE DOES IT COME FROM: Our self worth is affected positively or negatively right in the childhood. A woman’s self worth comes from within, from her ability to say NO, her ability to choose right, her ability to feel and follow her intuition, it comes from being able to feel safe, being able to be true to who she is. When a little girl is provided the emotional, physical and financial safety especially by her father, a girl who is treated and spoken to softly, a girl who never really had to please people without caring about her own feelings, this girl grows up to be a woman with high self worth.
We all get affected by society here and there while growing up but over all it doesn’t affect this woman as much as it affects other women. Hence, her self talk, self image and self respect is quite high. She takes things lightly and doesn’t take things personally. Also, has very low tolerance for any bullshit.
If you don’t fall into the category of these women then let me dare to take the liberty to paint you a picture how low self worth might have been looked like for you.
HOW LOW SELF WORTH BEHAVIOUR PANS OUT IN SOCIETY: Let’s say you dated a man who gave you the bare minimum, you kept trying to change him, you basically had to behave like his mother, tell him and ask him for little things, he was kind of laid back and you took the charge of everything. Somehow you managed to hook him up for marriage, because he thought who else will bare him this much. He can be in his comfort zone with you. As he is laid back he didn’t actually earn your trust, love, respect and submission in order to be your husband. You actually gave him everything on the platter.
It felt like you were the one who made this relationship happen and he just kept going along with it. You thought he will change after marriage or maybe after having children but that never happened. You are always nagging, complaining that your needs and desires aren’t met. He doesn’t treat you the way you wanna be treated and you guys fight most of the time.
Or you keep your silence for the peace of the household but it creates chaos within you. He ignores and shuts down your needs, sometimes physically abusive, gaslight you, manipulate you, speaks to you harshly or he is nice to you only when you get angry, the moment you calm down, he goes back to his old ways. Sounds familiar?
Now let’s say you have a son and a daughter who sees all this.
You are so consumed in this relationship, to get attention and validation from your husband that you aren’t really available for your kids emotionally and mentally and sometimes physically as well. Both your son and daughter sees this, may be doesn’t really understand what’s going on but they feel everything, doesn’t matter if they aren’t able to put it in words yet. You are setting the example of how relationships are supposed to be for both your children right in their childhood.
The daughter grasps from your behaviour that her needs and desires aren’t important and people especially women suffer in relationships and in marriage. What the son grasps is, that’s how he is supposed to treat his future wife because that’s how his father is treating his mother.
Now, let’s come to science. It is very common that we attract what we are familiar with. If that son and daughter is not aware about what happened to them when they were children, they don’t heal that part of themselves, they keep repeating their parents’ relationship cycle in their personal relationships after growing up.
This daughter goes out in the world and please other men in order to be liked by them and get nothing or bare minimum in return because that’s what she saw her mother doing and this son goes out in the world being entitled that he deserves everything from a woman without having to earn it. Like women are their property. Consciously or subconsciously.
Some of them will become sociopaths and rape women and murder them and so on and so forth. The others will just be roaming around on dating apps and think that they are entitled to sleep with a woman on the 2nd or 3rd date. And guess who is making it available for these entitled men? The low self worth daughters who think women are supposed to give men something first in order to be loved by them.
Ultimate lie that her parent’s relationship told her. Men are givers ladies, they are the one who get to know pretty quickly if she can be the one for him, they move mountains for the one they love and these two grownup children will never be able to experience real love until they heal this part of themselves.
REALITY CHECK THOUGH! High self worth women need more power in today’s world because if you say NO to a man’s unusual demands and bare minimum, there is someone else out there to say YES. I say let him get bored with these women because you and I we both know that he is not going to settle down with her if his inner masculine is crying out loud to reach his higher self, which is the case most of the time.
Good men and women finish last in today’s time anyway. So stick to your standards and make sure you belong to a happy healthy home to create better generation for future and a better future for yourself as well. Because the power is in your hands my love you need to realise that.
A WOMAN’S POWER: As a woman you need to be strong enough, smart enough and aware enough of your powers. Your powers don’t lie in fighting, being aggressive, being loud etc. It lies in your high self worth, in your chosen silence, in your freedom to choose, in deeply knowing that you deserve better and aligning your actions with it, in your ability to say NO, in your ability to express yourself of what you want and who you are, in your vulnerability, it lies in your femininity, it lies in your boundaries, it lies in your sensuality, it lies in you sticking strong with your values and beliefs, it lies in your intuition. Most men respond really well to these things the ones who don’t, are abusers and criminals.
HOW A WOMAN MIGHT CREATE A CRIMINAL: No mother give birth thinking that my son will be a criminal one day, but you are the first example of how a woman should be treated in society for that little man in your house. If you forgive him for slapping his sister, if you let him get away with how he treated his female classmates, if you don’t teach him how to respect women by respecting yourself, if you don’t stand-up for yourself in front of your husband when something is not ok with you, if you keep suffering in front of his eyes and give him smile, it gives him a signal that, that’s how it is supposed to be.
Guess what, you are raising him to be a criminal (Mild level big level we don’t know yet). You are teaching him that he can do whatever with women and get away with it.
I am sorry to all the mothers, but it is the truth. You are the first example that little man has of a woman and you are responsible to teach him with your actions how far he can go with a woman. HEALTHY MASCULINE MEN ARE RAISED BY HEALTHY FEMININE WOMAN UNDER THE LEADERSHIP OF ANOTHER HEALTHY MASCULINE MAN. Period.
If you are among those who think I am blaming women for everything here, then let me defend myself a little. I have never seen a son of a high self worth woman being a criminal and not being attached to his own feelings, and have no guilt of his mistakes and no empathy for how the other person felt. Also, never seen a daughter of such a woman being disrespectful towards herself and going around pleasing others for validation.
Fathers play a huge role for sure, and what’s his role? He is a giver and a leader and leaders are in service of the people they love, so the people will tell him what service they want out of him and level of services depends on the self worth and sense of deserving the woman has. So it all boils down to a woman’s self worth.
Being high value and high self worth woman has nothing to do with having money, let me clarify that. Because people have lot of misconceptions. You can be a doormat in a mansion or in a 1 bhk middle class house, you are eventually a door mat. You look little fancier in a mansion that’s all. So men or other women have no other choice but to clean their feet on you.
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO AND HOW TO TAKE POWER IN YOUR HANDS: IF YOU DON’T COME FROM A HEALTHY FAMILY, MAKE SURE THE HEALTHY FAMILY COMES FROM YOU. BREAK THAT NEGATIVE CYCLE.
Steps to take: Take therapy to heal, meditate, read self help books, journal, heal your wounded feminine energy, heal your inner child, become self aware as much as you can, chose silence to listen more than you speak, Practice breathing, get in touch with your intuition, stop giving a f**k about what will people say, become self obsessed in a positive way, change your self talk and self image, change the negative way you see the world, build compassion for others and for yourself. This is literally the key. You basically need to learn to unlearn what you have learnt so far. HaHa! I gave you a tongue twister, didn’t I.
High self worth woman makes a better man. She brings the best out of a man. Hence, a man would never dream of leaving a woman with whom he can be and feel his best. When he is at his best, he is the best leader for the family and that eventually makes a better society.
By accepting bare minimum from him and being a doormat you are taking away the opportunity for that man to become the best version of himself, and experiencing the beautiful relationship that you can be in.
You are not pushing him to his limits. In a good way I meant. What all he can do when he is in love, how powerful he can be to move mountains, how great the sex will be when you two are actually in love, you are taking away all that experience from him and from yourself.
So you being a doormat is not helping anyone and it is affecting the entire generation in a way you don’t even realise. The things you ignore to fix will be passed on to your children, remember that.
By the way, why the responsibility to have better experience in relationships fall on women’s shoulder all the time? Why can’t men think like this? Well, first of all, women have better emotional intelligence than men and that’s what a relationship needs. I am the kind of person who believe in concentrating on what can I do to make something better, what is in my control rather than only blaming external factors. Other than that men have an organ that keeps telling them to fulfil it’s urge and deviate him to get the instant gratification rather than later fulfilment.
And women have that resistance power better than men she can delay the gratification. Am I defending men now? No, I am completely aware that a man is respected and desired by women when he has self control and some amount of emotional intelligence. And in the same way women are respected and highly desired by men when she has high self worth and femininity.
A feminine woman who keep drawing him in but has the ability to say NO without any fear until she feel safe and comfortable, this builds his self control and emotional intelligence. A feminine high self worth woman is irresistible to a man so when a man really really wants this woman, he is forced to practice patience and emotional intelligence to understand her. As a woman you need to understand what part you play in the story otherwise you will be eliminated quickly. And same goes for men as well, but this article is for women, so I am talking to my women here.
WATCH MY YOUTUBE VIDEOS FOR SELF GROWTH:
1. Women without femininity is a fruit without colour, taste and sweetness
2. Why strong women are stuck being givers and how to change the dynamic
3. Facts about men that will help you level up as a woman
4. Feminine communication to get what you want
RECOMMENDING THESE BOOKS:
Why men love bitches
Subtle art of not giving a fuck
Buy yourself the damn flowers
HOW MEN CAN HELP: A woman’s femininity is free flowing, emotional, expressive, playful, empathetic, nurturing, companionate, polite, sensitive and soft. Now you tell me, where in today’s world these qualities can sustain and flourish without your protection? This is the kind of woman you want right? A guard down soft and submissive woman. Then you need to protect these qualities of her. If you don’t than she need to do it herself by becoming masculine herself.
HOW CAN YOU PROTECT HER AND MAKE HER FEEL SAFE. Well, you need to take care of emotional, physical, spiritual and financial safety.
Emotional Safety: Be emotionally available for your self so you can do the same for her. Take therapy and heal the parts of yourself that felt neglected in your childhood, so you can stop ignoring and neglecting other’s needs.
Physical Safety: Don’t raise you hands and voice at her. Talk to her gently and touch her gently. If you treat a woman softly consistently, the better version you get of her every day. Women are more sensitive than you know. Actually they are more sensitive than they themselves know. They are constantly walking with the feeling of unsafety.
Financial Safety: You already know that. Unfortunately, That’s all you have been taught since you were born.
Spiritual Safety: Put God first. He will help you recognise your actual needs for a woman instead of instant gratification. He will teach you self control in every area of your life. Be a leader who is in service of others, not a boss who keep ordering others around, she won’t feel safe with you. If you need her submission, you need to earn her trust and realise that submission is her choice. Once she submits to you, she will trust your decisions and your lead in any direction.
She will forgive you for once in a while failing and nurture the environment you will provide her. Lead with faith, hope and happiness and God will bless you with more.
It’s a huge responsibility to lead, so make sure you lead when and who you actually want to lead. Otherwise complaints are awaiting for you, not love.
To sum up, just like masculine self controlling men are rare and highly desired, in the same way feminine, high self worth women are lost species. however, we all are potential. Whoever understands this article rather than being defensive and feeling attacked, congratulations, you crossed a very difficult step towards yours and society’s growth.