Secrets for a softer life. Have you ever noticed, certain people can make us feel that they have got it under control, and they don’t feel much anxious? They are overall calm and composed and have a very soft and delicate and confident vibe to themselves. When you look at them, it feels like, this woman gets whatever she wants and everything is working out for her. If this is the kind of personality you are aspiring to build, keep reading. This article will tell you the tricks to build this personality, no matter what background you come from.
If you are reading this, I am assuming that you have gone through some hardships in your life that made you stronger, powerful, and intimidating to others but also, took away your femininity, softness, and stillness. So how to get it back by keeping all the confidence and strength intact?
It is harder for those women to get that softness and femininity back who have seen life so closely, but it’s not impossible. It is a CONSCIOUS effort though. You need to consciously make some choices in life, which haven’t been practiced before. Let’s get into it.
Let the other person win: Sometimes it’s okay to let the other person win, an argument, a game, a fight, or whatever. Do not waste your energy on petty things, decide your priorities, because if you don’t, your non-negotiables will be neglected. Many times, if you observe closely, it wasn’t even required to become an argument, it is our traumas that give us that kind of raging energy that makes a trigger into an argument. It is very important to recognize your triggers AND LET THEM GO.
Let them win the argument
Let go of this intense energy, and be in the energy of flow and openness. Meditation, journaling, therapy, yoga are proven very effective to achieve that.
Be soft to yourself: Being brainy is power but it’s a curse too. We realize our mistakes quickly and we understand where we went wrong, but it is equally important to forgive ourselves for those mistakes and more compassion. Humans are bound to make mistakes, but we are smart enough to learn from them too. Society has “Dream Girl” expectations from women, and when we make even a small mistake we are picked up on them, especially by other women. So please be kind to other women, and be kind to yourself. LOVE YOURSELF, you are a human and it is okay to fuck up and make mistakes. The best weight you will lose is the weight of being perfect.
Materialistically Soft: Yes, that’s correct. Materialistically. Literally, pamper yourself whenever you can. Everyone will tell you to take a body massage or buy that expensive dress/jewelry that you always wanted, go on vacation and that’s all good, but I am talking about little things here. Give yourself the little comforts.
For example, rather than hot water bags, have hot patches or electric heat bag for your menstrual pain. Rather than taking public transport, live near the office. Buy a dish rack that drains the water back to the kitchen sink directly, rather than cleaning the water later on the kitchen stand. Have a scented candle near the bed. Keep plants and flowers at home. If you are tired, order home delivery for food sometimes.
Have you noticed, most people with money have a relaxed energy? They have a calming aura because not stressing to get the little things done and pampering yourself is one of the best ways to have a softer life. However, if you do not have a lot of money yet, go for these little things and care about yourself. Give yourself a little bit of luxury to relax. We feel guilt after spending on ourselves, PLEASE DON’T. Below are the links to some of the things that give me calming energy and make my life easier:
Electric Chopper for kitchen
Wonderful quality floor lamp
Semi visibility curtain
Queen-size bed soft comforter
Soft white bedsheet with pillow cover
Washing machine trolly stand
Money: Let’s not be delusional and say, that money is not important. It might not be the most important thing in the world but it affects everything that is important. With money, most of your tasks are done easily. You are able to enjoy luxuries, like, quality organic food, clothing, travel, home, education, etc.
Tipping the restaurant manager gets you a better table, and paying extra money to the driver gets you to help in shifting your house stuff. I don’t have to explain the drill here. You don’t have to devote your life to money, follow your purpose and be clever about it so you are able to monetize it as well.
Ask for help and deny for help: It’s as simple as that. Ask for help when you need it and deny helping others when you have to. Independent women are stuck being givers. So they drain themselves by not asking for help but keep helping others whey don’t even have the capacity. Be grateful when you do get the help. Nit picking on others how they did it wrong and how it wasn’t the right gift they got you is the attitude you need to drop. Independent women who barely got help in their life find this simple thing real hard. I totally understand you and feel you but it’s time to change.
Say No when you have to
Never expect anything from anyone who is incapable of giving you what you want or don’t want to give you what you want. Manage your expectations from right people at the right time and things will be all right. The biggest type of self care is being able to receive help from others.
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