Well, well, well. This topic is so complicated and debatable that I had to write a blog about this when I actually understood this topic and solved it for you guys. When it comes to men and women relationships, most of the answers can be found through feminine and masculine concept. Obviously an individual’s upbringing, principles, beliefs, etc. plays a big role in how they think and act but the core is feminine and masculine concept. If we are able to understand our core, most of the relationship problems will be solved. There are so many couples fighting with each other about the friendship they have with the opposite sex. Some say, what’s wrong in being friends with the opposite sex and some say that’s not possible at all. So let’s uncover the truth through this article. Shall we?
Note- This article is for those who has the basic understanding about feminine and masculine concept. If not, you can research about the concept first to understand this article better. You can refer to my previous blogs as well under, ‘Femininity and levelling up’ section.
Let me start with saying, ‘A girl and a guy can be friends but a feminine and masculine can’t.’ This article is probably over for those who understand feminine and masculine concept. Because you already understand how a feminine and masculine is hard wired to attract each other like a magnet. For the rest of them, you will find your answer when you understand why people get friend zoned and under what circumstances a girl and a guy can be “Just friends.”
Being friend zoned – Let’s start with a story. Once upon a time there was a girl who was an absolute tomboy. She has many guy friends but none of them was interested in her as a romantic partner, in fact she was their wing woman who gets other girl’s numbers for them. She was a bro, buddy, someone who had everything those guys had, just her penis was missing. 5 days a month she used to go missing or she used to be very dull and all those guy friends used to giggle and make fun of her assuming correctly that why she was missing or dull. They were young stupid boys who didn’t become men yet. She used to feel alone during those times. She generally never used to feel attraction towards any boy but when she does, the boy didn’t like her back, he saw her like just another guy or she finds out later that he is not masculine enough for her. She feels more capable than the guy, the attraction fades out later because she isn’t able to respect him. She was “Anjali” from “Kuch kuch hota hai.” Boys either used to be her brothers or “Just friends.”
This cycle kept repeating until the girl realised the root cause and the tables were turned. This girl was me.
After years of learning lessons the hard way, I am trying to make your life easier by making this information available to you. You can take it or leave it, but if you decide to keep reading, you should know I sometimes uncover the ugly truth pretty bluntly.
So ladies, here is an ugly truth coming your way. “Just looking like a girl doesn’t make you actually a girl.” I myself was a boy inside the body of a girl. Of course I didn’t identify myself as a boy. LOL. I just didn’t find my footing as a woman back then because the society appreciated the masculinity more than the femininity and to be honest I was a people pleaser so I tried to fit in by being masculine just like many other girls did. Sad, anyways.
A girl/women who has alluring feminine qualities, is seductive, soft and compassionate is highly desirable by boys/men and it is impossible for any man to be “Just friends” with that girl/woman. He is her friend only because she has drawn the line, she has put him to the friend zone. Actually, a feminine women will never put a masculine man into friend zone. In fact, a masculine man doesn’t stay in the friend zone in the hope that some day something will happen with this woman. He is working towards his purpose, he has a lot of things to do. He is very clear on what he wants and he expresses that to her, he woo her, he impresses her, he tries to win her understand her but never does it by crossing her boundary. If he feels that she is not interested at all, he accepts her ‘NO’ gracefully and moves on rather than staying in friend zone and swoop in the moment he sees an emotional crack, only boys do that and the boy can be 40 years old as well, because age is just a number. ‘Men’ don’t lose hope where they see some flexibility and do not waste their time when there is a hard No from the woman. Of course they feel sad, but they keep their dignity rather than being in the friend zone because they know, once you get into the friend zone by a woman, you are probably never coming out. A man who closely keeps in touch with their ex-girlfriends, flings, casual fuck buddies and don’t want to let go of all those women, he is not a man. He doesn’t know what he wants in life and is very unclear about his feelings. I am not saying he can’t be even civil to them, but if he is ready to jeopardise his current valuable relationship by being involved with them and trying too hard to keep in touch with them and entertain them too much when they reach out to him, is a sign of a boy, not a man. When a woman has wounded feminine energy or masculine energy more than the feminine energy, she will end up having competitive dynamics with a man, will be needy, argumentative, controlling, rigid etc. which makes her tough to handle. Doesn’t matter if your looks have attracted him initially, you will end up repelling him later.
Now let’s see the male perspective over here, how men friend zone you or do they actually friend zone women? Yes, men can think of you as ‘Just friend’ if you have a lot of masculine qualities, they can bro zone you but here is the twist, another ugly and blunt truth coming your way, “Guys do not care about how masculine you are when they aren’t serious about you, if they get the opportunity, they will fuck you.” Imagine, one fine day you are looking pretty to go to your brother’s wedding and he has never seen you that feminine way before, chances are very high he will think about you the other way. He might think about you seriously or just want to sleep with you depends on many aspects. But, if they are thinking of just sleeping with you, they might leave the opportunity only because of the anticipation that you might expect things further and they aren’t interested in taking things further than sex.
So what does friend zone with men look like?
1. They will treat you as their bro or buddy, you will be just another bro for them.
2. If things turns from bromance to romance and god forbid in an unhealthy way where he isn’t serious about you, then they will not pursue you, they will not care about your needs, they will make you feel that your needs are too much, basically a man child who doesn’t really understand how women operate.
3. You will be feeling very feminine and found the woman inside of you with him [first time in your life] but he will keep joking, messing around, takes you to same old bro places for dates which doesn’t really feel like the dates, the way he used to do before and it kills romance for you. When a tomboy girl finds a woman inside of her, it feels like she has hit home and everything changes for her but the guy thinks why she has to behave differently? What he doesn’t understand that she finally found herself. She is also transitioning from a girl to a woman, that’s why she also accepts certain behaviour that a self aware complete woman will not. And that transitioning can be done when she is 30 years old as well because age is just a number.
In short, It looks like friends with benefits, it’s messy if both of you don’t understand the transition, it becomes CONFUSING as hell. But it’s natural and it’s okay, everyone has their own journey to figure themselves out.
Do men sleep with women they don’t like or have no agenda to pursue, YES! They are hard wired to take the opportunity for sex. The sooner you understand this as a woman the better.
If a woman is operating from her correct energy which is feminine and doesn’t have any traumas or she is just not attracted to the guy at all, then friend zone is quite clear for that woman but it’s not very clear with guys and a smart woman knows this. She is aware of her affect on men subconsciously or consciously and understands this very well that no man can be ‘Just friends’ with her. She is so alluring, everyone wants to get her. She puts people in friend zone to be safe and stir clear of them, not to actually be friends with them. To be honest, friend zoning is very childish, it happens around your early 20s. When you become a woman and a man, friendship lines are always blurred and can be crossed anytime.
Conclusion: A boy who has found his footing as a man (Masculine) will understand his need for a woman more than sex and a girl who has found her footing as a woman (Feminine) will understand her need for a man more than money. And these men and women can NEVER EVER BE “JUST FRIENDS.”
I said what I said. Byeiiiiii.